Keep Aiming… So You Get Where You Want to Be - Expat Nest e-counselling

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Keep Aiming… So You Get Where You Want to Be


Someone sent this quote to me recently and I simply had to share it with you in our first article of 2018. As we begin to work on our goals for 2018, this story is a perfect reminder not to get despondent over setbacks. I hope it strikes a chord for you too, helping you to stay present and focused as you gain momentum to move forward…


We tend to use all kinds of metaphors to describe the heaviness of our problems…

“Things are weighing me down…”

“I’m carrying so much on my shoulders…”

“I can’t move for all the problems I have…”


It’s true that sometimes we feel paralysed by our problems. But what if there was another approach?

Often our “straitjackets” – the things that keep us feeling stuck – are of our own making; often they are caused by the negative views we have of our problems.

This is where the metaphor of the arrow becomes useful.

For example, if you experience a setback on your way to a cherished goal, this shouldn’t be a signal to doubt yourself. In fact, this is a time to focus on the bigger picture! To mentally and physically prepare for the change that you wish to have.

For it is the tension in the bow’s string, from pulling an arrow backwards, that gives the arrow its spring and lift.

So much of my own drive has come from negative experiences, when I had to make a choice, either to feel shattered or to shift my focus to a solution, to change perspective so I could find the strength and move forward.

By making my bow tighter and tighter, I had a huge amount of momentum behind me when I let go of my arrow. In effect, my problems helped me to focus on my goals.

So, if life is weighing you down, don’t give up. It is all about shifting perspectives, which could make all the difference! Focus on the target ahead of you and keep putting energy into your dreams behind the scenes.

I hope you enjoy this inspiration for the new year!



© Vivian Chiona

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  1. patricia says:

    I get this Vivian but how long do you wait before letting go of the arrow? I’ve prepared all my material needs to do what I want but nothing has come to pass for almost 7 years and am close to giving up.

    A saying that keeps me going is “To be somebody you must last ” Ruth Gordon.

    1. Vivian Chiona says:

      Dear Patricia,

      Thank you so much for your comment and great question.

      Well, there is no standard answer. Each person goes through their journey, with ups and downs and feels it when it’s time to bounce back and let go.

      For example, it took me 3 years to let go of the arrow so to go where I really wanted to, after a very difficult period of my life.

      Progress is progress, no matter how fast or slow. The point is to keep moving forward, even in tiny steps (they are still steps). ?

      I would like to ask you a question to help you shift your focus: what is really holding you back from letting go of the arrow?

      Obviously there’s no need to answer publicly (if you wish we can have a quick call) or to answer at all. Giving this answer to yourself though, will help you pinpoint the obstacles, fears or mindset blocks. Then you can challenge them and turn them around so they become your strength to lay out the next steps which feel right to you.

      Trust your inner voice and your wise mind to let go of the arrow, when ready.

      Wishing you all the very best-as you deserve,


  2. Patricia says:

    HI Vivian,

    At 71 and single for many years now, I have done many things in my life and the one thing I always wanted to do growing up was to be a teacher of sewing. Its been a passion since I was quite young and not just because you can make something unique for yourself but many other skills that come as a offshoot of such knowledge.

    My mother always looked good and we were not a wealthy family but her motto was “When you know you look good you feel good” This has seen me through some emotionally difficult times and I usuuallylook my best when I feel my worst and I want to pass this on from teaching children and men a small amount of self sufficiency.

    I have let go a few times over the years and then out of the blue someone hears about me and it starts with just one and they’re happy but then no follow ups or flow ons. So I keep doing what I need to do each day around my home but find I need more money to employ others to do what I can no longer do and being relaively new to this town have found it takes a long time to be accepted or my generosity taken advantage of.

    Im trusting that all will be well and am lving more and more in the moment.

    Kind regards and thakn you for your reply


    1. Vivian Chiona says:

      Dear Patricia,

      Thanks for your reply and sharing your experience with us.

      It’s great that you have found your passion and that you lead your life aligned with this passion and values, regardless of the challenges faced.

      Keep it up and keep moving forward so to enjoy life to the fullest.

      Bets wishes


      ps. Love your mother’s motto!

  3. patricia says:

    I’m sure that sharing can help others to know they ae not on thier own in pain and me for havng my sharing accepted and listened to <3

  4. Andriani Kalterimtzi-Sinouri says:

    Hello Vivian,

    Indeed I have also noticed that when I shift my perspectives towards a problem helps me to reach my goals easier and without feeling overwhelmed. I think that it’s very important to value your goals and use your energy to reach them by focusing on the desirable outcomes. Enjoying, also, the journey until reaching the goals will bring even more positive outcomes which will make you everytime stronger.

    Thank you!

    1. expatuser says:

      Dear Andriani
      Thank you for your insights. I love your comment about enjoying the journey – if we are TOO goal focused we might not savour all the precious moments (and opportunities for learning) in between.
      Best wishes

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