You are perfect to be loved - Expat Nest e-counselling


You are perfect to be loved

Recently I was chatting to a perfectly lovable and loving friend who has given up on his love life. My response – that he is perfect, just as he is, for love – became the inspiration for this article, which addresses the notion that we somehow have to “become perfect” before we can find love or be loved…

This is my message to you. Yes, you – in your vulnerability, in your imperfections, in your insecurities, in your flaws – are perfectly deserving of being loved. None of these makes you somebody less worthy of love.

You don’t have to keep trying to be loved.

You can be loved just as you are.

This message is for anyone who is feeling not good enough…
or that you weren’t loved enough by your parents…
or that your partner is not showing you the care and attention you deserve and crave.

If you are scared you will end up lonely or compromise with a dull relationship…if you’ve just experienced another rejection, or don’t feel ready to enter a relationship or you feel insecure about your appearance…
this message is for you.

If your heart is broken or your life is full of pain right now, I send this message to you too.

Because I understand. There is a great pain when you don’t feel lovable or loved enough; there is loneliness even if you have others around you. I have seen this pain in friends, in clients, in myself. And I wonder, “What is the answer to all this?”

I repeat: you are perfectly worthy of being loved, as you are, in this very moment.

Of course there is room for improvement for all of us, plenty of self-growth to be achieved. But if we keep waiting for the right time, the ideal conditions, when we are “ready”, we create self-imposed boundaries on intimacy. And we may be wasting precious time (which is non-renewable!) and missing out on opportunities to love and be loved and grow even further.

The “right time” you are waiting for, the fears you hope to overcome before you can feel worthy of love… sure, you’ll have to face these and it may take time. But in the meantime, you are still perfect to be loved!

The time is now. No excuses. Just say it… “I am perfect to be loved” and then do what is necessary.

From my heart to yours


If you like this article, subscribe to our newsletter and share it with someone who is perfectly loveable and would need to hear this message.

© Vivian Chiona

Photo: Nicole Wilcox / Unsplash



  1. Arulnathan John says:

    Dear Vivian,
    Thanks once again for a heartfelt and inspiring post. I agree with your views in my head but my heart has beem hurt and I find it hard to believe that I can ever love again. I also feel like I have missed the boat where love is concerned. But I will take heart and let God take over my heart and I pray for His divine healing. In the meantime, thanks for your inspiring comments and observations. Appreciate them.

    1. Dear John,
      Thank you for your comment and sharing your deep thoughts with us.
      I understand your pain and the sadness of feeling that you have lost your faith in finding love again. It is indeed hard.
      You write about head and heart and it reminded me of the quote that the largest distance in the world is from our heads to our hearts. I hope this distance gets shorter for you and I also wish you healing; it is good to hear that you have found a another source of strength at this stage of your life.
      Should ever feel the need to talk, I am here for you.
      Take care and warmest wishes,

  2. Belta says:

    Thanks so so much Vivian for the article. we are good as we are to be loved. The miles we go just to attract others in loving us is unnecessary.

    1. Thank you so much for your beautiful comment Belta. Glad that you find this article valuable.
      Indeed you are perfect to be loved as you are 🙂
      Hope you attract the right people in your life.
      Warmest wishes,

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