Expat Stories

I am honoured to share a letter I wrote for Letters Now Sent: A Collection of Letters from the Globally Mobile, Volume 1, a beautiful collaborative project curated by TCK Consultant Megan C. Norton-Newbanks to celebrate Ruth Van Reken’s 80th birthday. This moving collection brings together heartfelt letters written by and to individuals who have lived cross-culturally, responding to Ruth’s influential work in Letters Never Sent: A Global Nomad’s Journey from Hurt to Healing, where she shared her own journey and challenges as a third culture kid (TCK).

My letter is addressed directly to Ruth, whose work and presence have profoundly shaped my life, as well as the lives of so many in the international community. In it, I reflect on the moments and lessons that guided me to embrace my identity, integrate my heritage, and ultimately create Expat Nest — a global space of belonging for those navigating life across cultures.

This is also a letter that honours my Assyrian origin and my journey to truly discover it.

I’m delighted to share the letter here, as a tribute to Ruth and the enduring impact of her wisdom and mentorship…

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Dear Ruth,

Your letters have been sent… and received by countless people all around the globe. Your work has profoundly touched the lives of expatriates and third culture kids (TCKs), offering them understanding, validation and a sense of belonging. Through your lectures and, above all, your ground-breaking book with David Pollock, you paved the way for a global movement of support and recognition for TCKs. I don’t think I can ever fully express my gratitude for the impact you have had – not just on the international community, but on my own life as well.

I was 24 when I first met you. I had just moved to the Netherlands and thought of myself simply as Greek with Assyrian origins. That was the extent of my identity, or so I believed. Then came that unforgettable day at Robbie Zein’s place. As you shared TCK stories, something stirred deep within me. I found myself in tears, overwhelmed by a flood of memories: most vividly, the image of my grandmother speaking Assyrian when I came home.

You noticed, sought me out from a crowd of nearly 200 people, and gently asked, “Why?” I told you what had moved me, and then you asked about my aspirations. I explained that I was studying psychology and planned to return to Greece to pursue work as a clinician. I still remember your response: “Think about it. You have something in your heart… you need to help more in the international community.”

Those words stayed with me. I read your book, and it was a revelation. It helped me connect with my Greek-Assyrian roots, embrace my international identity and, ultimately, find a sense of wholeness. That realization changed the course of my life and career.

Years later, as I continued working in the international community in the Netherlands, I started to see, more and more, the unique challenges faced by expatriates. This inspired me to create Expat Nest, combining my love for psychology with my passion for serving those navigating life across cultures. At the time, providing online psychological support for expats was almost unheard of. When I shared the idea with you, you were both honest and encouraging: “Hmm, it sounds like a good idea. I haven’t heard of this before, but go for it.”

Starting something new is never easy, but your words gave me the confidence to persist. Looking back, I realize that this was also a deeply personal journey of rediscovering my identity. In many ways, Expat Nest mirrors the experience of the Assyrian people: a nation without a country, scattered across the world, yet still close and connected. This is how I created Expat Nest, with nests across the globe in different languages but all connected under one global home. Without embracing my own heritage and integrating my own experiences as a TCK, I couldn’t have built this space of belonging for others.

And I owe this to you.

Your wisdom, your faith in me, and your profound understanding of identity have left an imprint that will last beyond this lifetime. I promise to carry your legacy forward; to continue serving, guiding and supporting the international community, just as you have done.

You have been my mentor, my friend, my source of strength. You have prayed with me, cried with me and celebrated with me. From the depths of my heart, thank you for what you have done for me and for the many lives you have touched.

I have so much love and respect for you!

With endless gratitude,
Vivian