I got together with Sundae Schneider-Bean for a fascinating chat on love, sex, expat couples, midlife crisis and marriage meltdown. I was honoured to be interviewed by Sundae, a solution-oriented coach and intercultural strategist for individuals and organizations who is “on a mission to help you adapt and succeed when living abroad and get you through any life transition”. As you can probably tell, we have a lot in common! 

Here’s how she introduced our session:

“Go to school. Get a good job. Get married. Have a family. That’s what the climb up looks like to ‘living the dream’. Then, like a waterslide without the fun, midlife hits and suddenly, you’re spiralling down into a cold-water awakening.

Biological and psychological changes combined with (yet) unmet goals funnel into a perceived dissatisfaction with your life in general. You start projecting your personal problems onto your spouse and begin to question your decisions. 

“Should I have moved abroad?”

“Did I pick the right partner?”

And here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:

• the hidden competitions within an expat couple
• vulnerability and the different levels of exposure
• language scripts that spark cooperation
• why relationships are like an accordion
• hard questions to ask yourself before leaving
• the truth about infrequent sex

We also look at questions like: “Is it a midlife crisis, or is it a marriage crisis?” (clue: it can be both) and “how does living abroad affect this”? I also share a little about a long-term relationship I ended a few years ago, and why.

Listen to the interview, entitled “Midlife Marriage Meltdown” (or read the full transcript), here.

I hope you find it valuable!

How has midlife changed your perspective? Do share your challenges and triumphs below!