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Letting it go…A short activity

“I can’t let it go…it is as if my mind and heart is still stuck with his/her memory! This relationship is haunting me! I would like to move on but I can’t. Although I know I shouldn’t miss him/her anymore, I still do and this makes me angry. He/she was so good overall; perhaps I should have stayed in this relationship”.

Do any of these statements sound familiar? Can you resonate with any of them?

When we are heartbroken, we feel that the pain won’t go and we may have the tendency to ‘idealise’ our ex.  In one of my articles we have discussed how to deal with losing love as an expat. Today, I am going to talk to you about a brief and very effective exercise on how to let go.

Firstly, try completing the following sentences. You can make your own ‘memory book’ (a memory book is a collection of memories, which can be presented visually, told as stories using text or a combination of both)  or simply close your eyes and visualise:

My first memory of you is…

The best moments I shared with you were…

What I like about you most is…

Your favourite hobbies were…

Your favourite quotes were…

When I think of you…

I keep your memory alive by…

 

Each relationship is characterised by ambivalence. So now let’s see the other side of the coin; the side that made you end this relationship; the side that, when you are in pain, perhaps you try to forget:

What I regret most in our relationship is…

What I have never heard you say is…

What I would like you to be able to hear is…

My deepest disappointment from you was…

My most difficult memory from you was when…

I know I move forward when…

…………………….

Please take a moment to pause and consider…

How are you feeling now?

In a counselling setting, we would work further on these memories, work with whatever you would bring up, so as to help you be at peace with yourself about this relationship which has touched your heart and caused the pain you may feel now. If you feel that you are ready to process your relationship emotionally, that you would like to let it go and move forward, you are more than welcome to book a session (click here). You can choose either a 30-minute or 60-minute session.

I hope this exercise has given you food for thought. I would love to hear your reflections: How did it feel when doing this exercise? What has helped you to ‘let go’? Please leave a comment below.

 

© Vivian Chiona

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOG OR WEBSITE?

Feel free! We ask only that you include this information: Expat Nest is a professional online counselling service for expats. Expat Nest supports expats who are facing challenges and who want to feel happier and more relaxed in their international experience. http://www.expatnest.com

 

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