How to experience even more gratitude
Three years ago I was introduced to Thanksgiving by a dear friend (who is not with us anymore) and her husband. Holding my hands at the dinner table – yes, laden with turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie! – Kat and Mike gave a blessing on all we were grateful for.
It was a moment of great connection, of sharing, togetherness and deep gratitude.
Although I am not American (I do have beloved family and friends in the US), I’ve since made a promise to Kat to celebrate this tradition every year and to introduce gratitude as a way of being and seeing life.
Because how we talk to ourselves matters. It affects how we feel and drives our behaviour.
Fortunately, experiencing gratitude doesn’t have to be complicated. There are simple tools you can use to train your brain into a regular state of thankfulness.
To get you started, here are three tips to easily welcome even more gratitude into your life:
- The 10 finger rule
The first time I heard of this was in Arianna Huffington’s remarkable book, Thrive. It’s an easy one too: every night before you go to bed, count off 10 things that you are grateful for; e.g. having a great chat with a friend, getting a hug from someone you love, enjoying a delicious dinner, you name it.
You may wonder: “But what about those tough days, when I don’t feel I have much to be grateful for?”
Then I recommend you start with some basics: that you have food on the table, a roof over your head, for the people who love you… You’ll be surprised how this can open up the channel of blessings, especially when you most need them!
2. Just two words…
Each morning, think of the two words that are most important for that day.
Here’s an easy prompt: “Today I would like to feel [e.g. peaceful] and I will do this by [a specific action/goal/thought; e.g. breathing each time I start to feel off-centre].”
Too often we forget to give thanks for all we have accomplished! By being clear about what you want from the day and stating your parameters for achieving this, you’ll feel full of gratitude.
3. A nugget of wisdom
Author Shauna Niequist sums up the essence of gratitude with these words:
“When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.”
And with that, I send you all much love and gratitude…
What are you most grateful for? Let’s count our blessings together!
If you like this article, subscribe to our newsletter and share it with someone you are grateful to have in your life.
FEEL FREE TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR BLOG OR NEWSLETTER. We ask only that you attribute Expat Nest and include the following: Expat Nest (www.expatnest.com) is a professional online counselling service for expats.
Photo: Gabrielle Henderson / Unsplash
Dear Vivian,
Whilst I agree with the wisdom offered, I’d like to note that to say “thank you and grow” when life is bitter, is not exactly easy. It depends very much on personality I would say if that’s an option. On many an occasion, I’d instead of saying those wise words, rather had strangled someone :-). On the bright side, often when I wake up I say “mirror, mirror on the wall who is the most beautiful of us all” and then answer “me, me” 🙂 :-).
Warm regards,
Louis
Thanks for your comment Louis. Indeed it is not easy to always say ‘thank you and grow’ but perhaps a skill to learn?
Best regards,
Vivian
Dear Vivian,
Thanks ffor this wonderful article. Sorry I have been quiet for a while but I enjoyed reading about being in a state of gratitude. it is definitely not easy but we have absolutely nothing to lose and eeverything to gain by being grateful. I amgoing through a difficult time now but I will keep what I have read today in my heart and practise it from now on.
Thank you Vivian and please keep up the sharing!
Dear John,
Thank you so much for your comment and for being such a valuable member of our community!
I am delighted to hear that you find this article useful and it gives you inspiration in this difficult time for you.
I hope this will pass soon. If ever you need any support, I am here for you.
Wishing you well and enjoy the holiday season (yes with gratitude in your heart 🙂
Vivian
Vivian
Really enjoyed reading your material.
I work in large IT projects and feel that if more people followed the kind and more gentle approach you recommend,
work would be less stressful and more productive.
We all have to manage the tensions in our lives and I find that most people initially react emotionally to new information and then process it logically. Usually fall out occurs between these two states.
Our work becomes more rewarding when we appreciate how people will react ,so If more people followed your lead,
we will become more supportive and therefore more productive.
Thank you for the advice
kind regards
Mark
Dear Mark,
Thank you so much for your comment and sharing your thoughts with us.
When I read your sentence about the emotional reaction and logical processing which I am in line with, I thought of the following: the ‘longest distance in the world is from head to heart’.
I am glad to hear that you find this article valuable and that you transfer the message of it to your work life; indeed how much better things would be if we were showing our gratitude much more often.
The world is a better place with people like you in it!
Best wishes,
Vivian